- Did I buy enough stuff?
- I most certainly did NOT buy enough stuff.
- Will the lines at Target really be THAT long? Like, is it THAT serious?
- How are we almost out of toilet paper again? Looks like we’re going to Target, after all.
- Is that an excuse to go to Target?
- I can’t really buy more if the kids are with me. I could leave them in the car, if I leave it cranked.
- Why is it SEVENTY-FIVE DEGREES right now? It’s fucking Christmas.
- Should I get the dogs presents?
- Should the kids be doing homework? They’ve been watching Teen Titans Go for two days straight…
- I wonder if my dad will bring me toilet paper.
- My head hurts.
- My headache is only going to get worse from here…
- What if no one bought ME anything for Christmas? Eight year-olds buy gifts, right?
- I hope the dogs don’t piss on the presents again this year.
- Do they need more Chubby Puppies? We’ve already gotten, like, four.
- What the hell is a Shopkins?
- Is 11:40am too late for a mimosa?
- My sinus cavity is in full rebellion mode. Thanks, El Nino.
- I should check my list again. What if I forgot someone?
- CVS will probably be open on Christmas. I can just get the last-minute gifts there.
- I did that last year and spent, like, $200.
- I hope I bought the kids an equal amount of gifts.
- I should count them again.
- How many episodes of Teen Titans Go are THERE?
- We should eat lunch soon. I have sandwich meat and no bread. I’ll just put the turkey in a cup.
- The kids will be, like, wild savages by the time school starts back.
- I’ll be the weather is beautiful in Costa Rica right now.
- I wish I could see a sea turtle.
- I wonder if they sound like Crush from Nemo.
- Oh, we can watch Home Alone tonight!
Voss Porter 
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